Drama llama

Desperately waiting for the social magic reactions tumblr to drop those posts they've been promising about the latest occult scandal.

Blog Recommendation: "Witchcraft is not Safe"

 "Witchcraft is also not glamorous and sanitized, it’s pissing into bottles full of nails and glass and accidentally getting some on your fingers; it’s blood and bone, it’s using things you’ve come across (or that have come across you); it’s making deals with things you’d damn well better keep an eye on and have a backup plan for; it’s often the mother of cuts and scrapes earned during pitch black hikes with entheogens pumping through your system; it’s not mass-produced and packaged for convenience."


http://seohelrune.net/witchcraft-not-safe/


This entry is my first introduction to this blog, which I now plan to dig into.  It was a powerful, evocative piece that reminded me of my high school and college years - sometimes you run into shit that doesn't fit into a neat and tidy concept, that doesn't just go away because you yell "get out", that has more solidity in this reality than what the "sane" witches believe is possible.  And when that happens you need to know how the fuck to deal with it on the fly, or you need to retreat to your fucking candle baths and leave the real witchcraft to the rest of us.

drama rama llama

When someone spends a substantial amount of hot air bashing a local store...

only to announce the following week that they're opening a store of their own.

Getting real sick of this shit, Pagans

So once again a scandal has rocked the Pagan community, and once again I am fucking appalled by the response from our local Pagan community.

My friend and I are perhaps more internet savvy than most... or at the very least, we just read a lot online.  So perhaps it's not surprising that we were the first in our circle of acquaintances to break the news about the Kenny Klein scandal, and now this most recent Christian Day bullshit.  But apparently we're also the only people who take this shit seriously.

The Kenny Klein thing was bad enough.  The local Pagan collective and their ineffective, sexist former leader pretty much defended Klein to the death... or at least until arrests were all over the news and impossible to ignore, which is when they slinked away from the conversation.  I do give their actual (and current) leader credit for being on the right side of things, even if I wish she had said more and said it even more forcefully.

You would think people would have learned their lesson from that incident, but apparently not.

My friend and I broke the news, as usual, and were just thrilled to receive pretty much no response.  And then, finally, a response from the leader of a splinter group, who thought the whole incident was fucking made up.  Seriously.  He claimed that if it were real then lawyers would be having a field day with this.  I shit you not. 

OK buddy, maybe that's how things work in your world... but here in the real world we know that someone revealing your name online and then making a few shitty comments about you and your stalker is not actually breaking laws.  It's just about being a shitty human being.

He went on to say that all the pagan blogs and screen caps weren't enough evidence and only the Wild Hunt was a legitimate Pagan news source.

Right.... so I posted the Wild Hunt's article.  Unfortunately, the Wild Hunt chose to address the topic at large rather than "name names" and repost screen shots.  The article serves a purpose, and it does acknowledge the incident and direct you to other articles on the incident, but I think it's also an easy way to avoid taking a firm stand and getting half your readers pissed at you.  The Kenny Klein incident was in some ways easier to deal with.  There were actual laws broken and arrests made, so it was reasonable for bloggers to take a stand against him and his actions.  With Christian Day, the issue is more nebulous, lurking in the dark bowels of internet drama.

Let's be frank - both parties were at each other's throats, and the woman in question has admitted this and acknowledged screen caps showing the fight.  But nothing she did deserved rape threats or encouragement for her stalker.  Not knowing the history between Christian Day and this woman, I can't be sure what he knew ahead of time, or if he knew how revealing her name might impact her life.  He probably didn't, in which case he should have been super apologetic, diffused the fight, and offered assistance.  And when her anger didn't go away after this first lackluster apology?  He should have let her vent her frustrations, listened, and apologized again.  That's how it works when you inadvertently endanger someone's life.  What you don't do is double down and publicly announce that you hope their stalker rapes them so they can scream your name during the rape.

So naturally I was disappointed that this male leader was coming to Christian Day's defense and being unreasonably skeptical despite all the evidence we were throwing his way.  And naturally I was disappointed that the other pagan group was maintaining radio silence on the incident.  And goddamn was I disappointed when I saw a prominent woman from a third group we had just made friends with "like" Christian Day's status about "haters gonna hate."  THIS is what the local scene has to offer us?!  J.F.C.

So yes, it's the Kenny Klein incident all over again except this time everyone can claim plausible deniability since the incident isn't making the "real news."  They can bury their heads in the sand or brush it aside as just another internet fight.  Because god forbid we knock these jackasses off their pedestals.  God forbid we put the victims first.

When the Kenny Klein incident happened, a certain jackass was policing threads on their group page to prevent people from posting "hearsay", which was basically defined as any blog post or personal account detailing people's run-ins with the man.  A lot of victims who had been to scared to speak, or who had spoken previously but been ignored, were coming forward with their tales.  This should have been a time for the community to share these stories and heal.  Instead, we were being forced into silence... and for what?  To protect the "good name" of a fucking pedophile?  This incident even caused a rift in my own group because certain people (particularly one of the male sex) couldn't (or wouldn't) understand the gravity of the situation, even going as far as to accuse me of being petty.  Look, dude - I actually take feminism and rape culture seriously.  Sorry, not fucking sorry.

Those are the same bullshit attitudes that are front and center right now for the Christian Day drama.  Deny (the accusations), Defend (the abuser), Silence (the outspoken).  I'm fucking sick of it.  The Pagan community isn't so goddamned fragile that it will collapse overnight if we call out the scum lurking amongst us.  In fact, we should be the ones leading the charge, instead of looking the other way until mainstream media picks up the story.

So as for Christian Day?  I think he owes his victim and the community as a whole a sincere apology.  In fact, I would like to see him actually offer aid to her and her family for whatever legal or moving expenses she's incurred while trying to stay safe from her stalker (both before and after this incident).  Hell, I would like to see him actually promote education about domestic violence, violence against women, rape culture, and harassment.  I would looooove to see this.  But I'm not holding my breath.  In the meantime, I refuse to acknowledge him as part of my Pagan community.  Consider yourself shunned, asshole.

Further reading:

http://www.nola.com/crime/index.ssf/2014/03/new_orleans_man_booked_on_chil.html
http://wildhunt.org/2014/03/allegations-emerge-after-pagan-author-charged-with-possessing-child-pornography.html
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/themediawitches/2014/03/prominent-pagan-arrested-for-child-porn/
http://cowardlychristianday.tumblr.com/
http://polytheist.com/a-stand-against-abuse/
http://krasskova.weebly.com/blog/appalling-offensive-and-intolerable
http://thehouseofvines.com/2014/09/03/another-day-another-bnp-behaving-badly/
http://www.reddit.com/r/pagan/comments/2fbt1g/christian_day_rape_threat/
http://fromthelabyrinth.wordpress.com/2014/09/03/beware-christian-day-pagan-predator/
http://wildhunt.org/2014/09/editorial-addressing-outings-and-community.html

Weird dreams of social justice and gender

ugh...i didn't sleep well last night.  i blame the increasingly hot weather.  opening the window only did so much to relieve the stifling air, and at that point i was already doomed to have an unsatisfying sleep.

i awoke for the second time around 10:30-11am with strange dreams on the edge of my vision.  i dreamt i was on a school bus on a field trip somewhere in indiana, but also in pennsylvania.  we drove past this forest retreat/rest stop on the way up... which was fortunate because when we got lost on the way back, we somehow found it and were able to orient ourselves.

speaking of which, somehow a social justice blogger on etsy decided that the *verb* 'orient' was a racist slur.  my dreams are special, what can i say?  she proceeded to flag/block my tarot card bag for sale because she didn't like my grammar either.  and there was one other thing that she was blatantly wrong about, but i forget at the moment.

back to the forest and the field trip.  apparently this forest in indiana was 3 days away from home.  we had too many male chaperones and one of the female teachers was just waiting for the testosterone to become too much and for a fight to ensue.  apparently there had already been some shoving.

after my pee break, i re-boarded the bus and found an envelope from a friend in pa.  it was those best friend hearts that were big in the 90s.  instead of necklaces though, these were earrings.  i decided to keep the pair with the blue gemstone and give him the pink.  i feel like this might be significant as he's been exploring the idea that he might be transgender.  he's not someone i see very often because of the distance, so i find it interesting that he would suddenly appear in my dream, even as just an envelope.

random childhood thoughts

Did anyone ever get "light as a feather, stiff as a board" to actually work?  Ever?




I'm calling bullshit.

The Science of Ghosts

My friend reblogged some screen caps on tumblr of Derrida talking about ghosts.  I recommend checking out the videos.  It's beautiful, artsy, and melancholy.  Derrida has a fascinating take on the idea of ghosts, one that will further haunt us as we progress technologically.

http://www.egs.edu/faculty/jacques-derrida/videos/the-science-of-ghosts/

Some fun watching and reading for a lazy Sunday

The Secret of the Ouija Board

IN 1891, THE first ads started appearing in papers: "Ouija, the Wonderful Talking Board," boomed a Pittsburgh toy and novelty shop, describing a magical device that answered questions "about the past, present, and future with marvelous accuracy" and promised "never-failing amusement and recreation for all the classes," a link "between the known and unknown, the material and immaterial." Another ad declared it "interesting and mysterious" and testified, "as Proven at Patent Office before it was allowed. Price, $1.50."

Waves and quakes

I had a dream that some sort of seismic shift was about to happen... so our boss got us out of the high rise and loaded us all up in a bus to start driving us to the safe building he had rented out ahead of time in preparation.  As we were heading toward the marina, I screamed at him, "are you nuts?!". I explained that the two story waves happening now were nothing compared to what would be coming after the big earth shift.  I told him we needed to drive to the interior of the land mass.  Thankfully he listened to me and gave the driver the instructions.  The bus was speeding inland while waves crashed around us when my alarm clock woke me up.  All I could think was, "god, what a dumbass."

mini christmas rant

Kinda annoyed by all my pagan friends that posted variations of this status: "Merry Christmas to all my CHRISTIAN friends."

It's a nice sentiment, sure... but it's like did you lose all common sense the day you converted to paganism?  There's plenty of us agnostics, atheists, and various other religions that still celebrate Christmas (and pretty damn seriously) because it's a family tradition for us.  Why wouldn't you just say "Merry Christmas to all those who celebrate it"?

Sometimes I feel like my pagan friends have an unhealthy obsession with Christianity.  (I think I dodged this bullet by growing up agnostic, rather than in some uber strict religious household.)  Case in point - only one of the pagans bothered to wish people a Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Yule, and whatever non-Solstice holiday I missed.  The rest stayed focused on the Christian/Pagan false dichotomy. 

:sigh:  Oh well.... Happy Holidays, everyone.

conspiracy theories and evolution

The other day my friend and I were talking about conspiracy theories thanks to a blog post he had recently read by a fellow occultist (fyi, this is a garden path sentence.  whee!).  As he described to me the Kennedy assassination in relation to coups in other countries, I could see his point: we're willing to believe that other countries could have governments that plot to overthrow their leaders, but god forbid we believe America to be capable of the same thing.  That's just crazy talk.

Probably the biggest thing in favor of the JFK assassination NOT being a conspiracy is that we haven't definitively exposed it as such yet.  Are you seriously expecting me to believe that there's no Edward Snowden out there to expose the crap out of this with hard proof?  That no one's been on their deathbed with nothing else to lose?  That we were just so much better at keeping things a secret back then?  C'mon.  There should have been something hard and irrefutable by now to prove it was a government conspiracy.  But while I don't currently believe the JFK assassination was a conspiracy, I leave that door open to the possibility that there was something more to it.

The way my friend was describing things that night though almost tipped me in the direction of belief.  I have to give him credit as a storyteller.  He weaves his words like  he's creating a spell, which I suppose is quite a good skill for an occultist to have, but I digress...  He's a persuasive speaker who tends to cut out the dubious parts and get straight to what's salient, palatable, and intelligent.  Listening to his interpretation of the blog post was a wholly different experience than reading it.  I found myself agreeing with my friend but having serious doubts about the blog, despite how beautifully it was written.

I suppose I was expecting the blog to actually focus on the JFK assassination rather than it just being a blip at the end.  Honestly, it was hard for me to get past the first part without wanting to comment on EVERYTHING.  And then the middle just lost me as he started to reference people I typically thought of as kooks.  At the risk of contradicting myself, I will say the writer brought up a good point that as occultists why is it that we believe the "crazy" things we do but have no problem labeling these people as crazy.  I believe I have the answer, and it's quite stupidly simple, but I think it's an answer people need to find by themselves.  Because if you're going to immerse yourself in the occult then you need to regularly ask yourself questions like this in order to stay grounded.

...and look at how much I just wrote without even getting to what I wanted to discuss.  Ugh.  Honestly, I just wanted to take a moment to vent about science-y things.  Particularly in relation to the whole human beings are really some alien star race bullshit.  If the following makes no sense to you, I apologize.  I am literally just going to respond to quotes from a book - quotes from a book on a blog , neither of which you have read.

Yes, we have hair all over our bodies.  We are not "hairless apes."  Maybe you fair folks have no idea what it's like, but as an Italian let me tell you how much I dread bikini season.  I am proud to say I have never shaved my stomach, but those first few days before the sun bleaches me are a special sort of self-conscious hell.

Let me also explain, in an admittedly layperson sort of way, just how genetics and evolution work.  Yes, skin cancer is bad... but it takes time to kill you.  By the time you die of skin cancer, you've already successfully passed on your genes and your children are probably passing your inferior genes on to the next generation.  Especially if you have other traits that are positive to procreation and surviving to sexual maturity.  It's easier than you think for shitty genes to get passed on when they're piggybacking on the good ones.

Speaking of piggybacking... sometimes two traits come from the same gene, chromosome, whatever.  So while one trait is crucial to the survival of the species, the other trait is kinda shitty, useless, or potentially harmful in the long run.  But the crucial trait wins out and gets spread among the species because it's what they need to survive their environment and their competitors/predators.  But in order to have that trait, we're stuck with this other, shitty one since they are both created by the same code.  You can't have one without the other.  Too bad, so sad.

Not getting it yet?  Take a look at dog breeding or cat breeding.  When you selectively breed the animals for a particular trait, they come with a whole host of other traits thanks to genetic piggybacking.  You'll have certain breeds prone to hip dysplasia or deafness, particular fur patterns giving rise to particular eye colors or heterochromia, or a bobtail for no apparent reason. Yes, even animals have vestigial traits (like finger bones in their fins) from another time and different evolution.

So yeah, while it's easy to point out all the shitty traits we have that make us wonder if we were meant to exist on a different planet, it's also pretty easy to explain why we have them.  For all our useful traits and detrimental traits, we also have a ton of practically useless traits.  We love to talk about how certain animals are perfectly adapted to their environment, but animals have problems too.  They get sick, they have useless traits, detrimental traits, and sometimes that leads to extinction but other times their positive traits keep them afloat.

Hell, look at trees!  Look how many fucked up diseases trees are prone to.  You'd think they weren't meant to exist here and yet they're a pretty integral part of the landscape.  Of course, you have to remember that anything bacterial or viral is also just trying to survive on this planet.  So rather than asking why a creature is prone to such diseases, it's sometimes more productive to ask why those diseases adapted to being really good at getting into that particular host.  Why is that host so crucial and convenient to their survival?

Fuck, I don't even know where I'm going with this anymore.  Suffice it to say that I don't believe we are star children or aliens or whatever.  I think it's time for more coffee.

Tulsi and Lavender

I bought some lavender and tulsi tea this afternoon.  Honestly, I had no idea what tulsi was when I bought it.  I just wanted some lavender!  Unfortunately, I can't even taste the lavender.  It's been overshadowed by a potent black licorice taste.

According to this one website it's supposed to taste like this:

"Tulsi has a delicate yet invigorating flavor that is subtly minty, somewhat buttery, and mildly floral with a natural sweetness."

But apparently I'm not the only one who's had a licorice experience:

 "I had got some Tulsi Tea (Holy Basil) from Dr. Mercola years ago and it's by far my #1 favorite single ingredient tea. However I was running out and got a large bag of Tulsi tea at the health food store and it has this pronounced black licorice taste on top of the Tulsi taste from the one from Dr. Mercola.

Why does the other one have a licorice taste? Did they perhaps mix in different parts of the plant like flowers or roots?"

Unfortunately the user's question was not sufficiently answered.  So I'm still not sure what's going on.  The only two ingredients are tulsi and lavender, so I know it's the tulsi.  I'm just really disappointed since I don't taste any lavender at all.  I wish the tea tasted minty and floral like the first description.  That sounds really appealing for a bedtime tea.

Has anyone else had any experiences with tulsi?  Is there a reason for the different tastes?

Awake

I woke up this morning to a female voice calling my nickname in my right ear.  My sleep addled brain managed a "what?" and something else in reply before I opened my eyes, regaining full consciousness.  I rolled over to find that my boyfriend was not there.  I laid in bed for quite some time before venturing down the hall.  The cat greeted me, but the boyfriend had already left for work long before the voice had awoken me.

my ascendant is wtf

When I was young enough to think I knew everything, I looked old enough that people listened.  Now that I'm old enough to admit I know little, I apparently look young enough that no one wants to listen to my well-researched facts.

I had a frustrating encounter a while back.

There was a young woman seeking to learn more about astrology.  The older woman confessed to not knowing much about astrology, specifically the stuff I had never delved too deeply into like trines and degrees and chirons, etc.  So I candidly expressed that I was no expert myself.  All I can say is, I really should give myself more credit.  Apparently my idea of not knowing a whole lot is a bit different than other people's.

First there was the usual conflation of astronomy and astrology.  I tried to explain that the Tropical zodiac we use in Western astrology has nothing to do with where the constellations have moved.  I went over all the basics I've said before in my other blog, like explaining in detail why your sign has not frikkin changed.  I had to clear up the usual cusp bullshit of "but this book says I'm a Cancer and this book says I'm a Leo."  (You have to go by the planetary placements the year you were born... not what the back of the TV guide says it is this year.)  I had to hear all about sun signs not fitting people as if the rest of their charts didn't even exist.  I didn't even bother getting into the decanates as I was already pulling blank looks at this point.

I heard just about every stereotypical misconception about astrology there is, and every time I tried to correct their misinformation I was merely listened to quietly and then they continued on with their conversation as if I had said nothing of relevance.  Did what I say really just go over their heads that much?  Or were they just thinking I couldn't possibly have the 'wisdom' of the older woman?

I felt so frustrated and impotent.  But this is pretty typical for my run-ins with the Pagan community.  This is also why I stay out of most political conversations.  It's one thing if we have differing opinions... but damn it, your opinions do NOT trump facts.

rawr

I hate how blogspot doesn't remove deleted posts from your dashboard until a century later.  I always see things that interest me, but turn out to have already been deleted.

door hinge

I received a call from someone I hadn't spoken to in a while.  It was a good conversation overall, but it dredged up some painful memories.  That night I had a rather vivid dream.  I was over my friend and her fiance's house eating oranges.  But tiny little bugs started crawling out of the orange slices, and then out of the other food as well.  I was remarkably calm in the dream even though I was intensely grossed out.  I feel like this dream might be more than too much pizza before bed... but I'm not sure how to interpret it other than the obvious - "bad", "decay", "ruin", most likely in regards to the phone call.

anam cara

I met a very special person on Oct 1st. 

That night I dreamt of this person.  He was wearing a Claddagh ring with a green stone that matched my celtic knot ring.  We were both wearing our rings on our left ring fingers.  I remember explaining to him that if the ring pointed outward it meant he was single, and if it pointed inward it meant he was married.  He flipped the ring inward and outward a few times, but I don't remember which way it ended up before I awoke. 

Botanica

Botanica

This came up in conversation and I could not think of the word.  It was driving me crazy.  OK, well I actually did remember the word but I kept thinking I had to be wrong because it meant "plants" and it's the name of a dungeon in WoW.

pagan fail

I know everyone was "new" to the craft at one point or another, but please try to use some common sense.  Do not burn toxic plants or hallucinogens... especially around company without telling them first.  Do I even need to explain why? 

Past Lives

I've always preferred the more concrete realms of magick and the occult. Now this may seem contradictory to some of you (especially if you think everything needs to be tested in a laboratory to be "concrete"), but I assure you - it's legit. I prefer Tarot because it has results I can verify. I prefer spellwork, especially nuanced spells, for the same reason. I have a hard time getting into such nebulous practices as past lives.  How do you verify something like that?

I'm not talking about stuff like little kids that remember past lives, including things that only the dead person would know (like something private they shared with their spouse).  I actually find that rather fascinating.  But what I'm talking about here is past life readings - whether done intuitively, with tarot cards, or some other method.

Most of the time it just seems like one person's word against another's.  One reader tells you you were one person, another reader tells you you were someone else entirely.  Could you have been both?  Sure.  But you would think that at least once in a while two of the readers would pick up on the same past life. 

The problem I've run into is one reader contradicting what another two readers have said, and what my gut tells me.  One person says I've been male 9 times out of 10 in my past lives.  Another person says I've been female in all my past lives.  So what is the truth?  Or are both bullshit?

A lot of times when  I hear readings, the ones done for me included, it feels like the reader is telling you either what they want to hear or what you want to hear.  I think a lot of readers let their own biases influence the reading.  Close minded people are less likely to tell you you were of the opposite sex.  Or perhaps they just see you as embodying your gender so strongly in this life that they can't fathom it could have been different.  Or maybe they have strong ties to a certain heritage or time period and thus imagine that you were apart of it.  Or they just craft an epic story that they know will appeal to you, feeding off what you want to be true and hints you've dropped rather than any sort of true insight.  It becomes a matter of one person's "opinion" versus another's - with no way to prove who is right.  So whose fantasy will prevail?

I told a friend about my most recent reading.  I explained that I felt the reader was wrong because I'd had two readings to the contrary, and my gut has always sided with those readings.  He countered that my "gut feelings" could be explained by psychology and brain chemistry.  (Well, maybe I was born with such brain chemistry as a reflection of my past lives?)  I got a bit annoyed at this point (I'm sorry if I was rude!).  Proving that my gut feeling is the result of brain chemistry neither proves nor disproves what may be my past lives.  In fact, those readings neither prove nor disprove anything either.  All I really have to sway me from believing one person over the other IS my gut feeling (and perhaps a few dreams, as I am not one of those people who claims to remember past lives).  And for all I know, there could be absolutely no such thing as reincarnation, and even the little kids with clear memories of past lives could be explained in some other way. 

In summation, I just feel like this is such a nebulous and subjective field of study and it really aggravates me when people try to assert what's true or false and get really pushy about it.  Especially when it challenges my gut... because there is no objective evidence here.  So why would I believe someone else's opinions over my gut (if I'm to believe in any of this at all)?